Survivor says leaving abusive relationship can be violent

NAMPA, Idaho (KBOI) - Brenda is a survivor of domestic violence and a volunteer with the Women's & Children's Alliance. She says she wasn't going to remain silent about her past because she says if she could help one person get away from an abusive relationship it would be worth it.

Brenda says the hardest part of being in an abusive relationship is knowing you have to get out.

"The biggest thing is control. You better not go up against them like that. When you try to leave, that's your most dangerous time. That's usually when death or a severe injury can happen," Brenda said.

She says she has been hurt by domestic violence from two separate marriages. "There was definitely violence, a lot of verbal abuse, there was sexual abuse, my children were hit at times as well," she said.

Brenda says it wasn't until she asked for help from FACES Family Justice Center and the Women and Children's Alliance that she realized she was the victim of domestic violence. She says that domestic violence happens a lot more than most people realize. She says most people see it with their neighbors and family but tend to ignore it and not get involved.

"It's not just people that you think are bad people. It's people like your pharmacist or your doctor or your lawyer. It's not just low income people -- it's everybody," Brenda said.

Brenda says she and her five kids at one time faced being homeless. But she got help and now they are at peace and happy it's all behind them. Brenda says that women who are in an abusive relationship may have been abused themselves as children. She said she thought domestic violence was a normal life until she got help.

Women's & Children's Alliance DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CRISIS HOTLINE: 208-343-7025

Faces Family Justice Center Crisis Line at (208) 577-4400 or after hours 377-6790